I thought it might be time to update my “About Me” information for those of you interested.
Before I share about my battle with addiction however….I thought I would add a few more details to round out the picture a bit. :-)
I was born and raised in southern California. Spent my summers hanging out by the pier at Seal Beach. Ahhh….to be a young surfer girl again! After graduating from college…I made a handful of hops around the country (including back to Cali for a few years) and eventually ended up in the mountains of Utah where I have lived now for 17 years.
After I graduated with a bachelor’s degree in Broadcast Journalism…I spent 3 months in the Big Apple doing an internship at ABC News and CNN. Actually had the privilege of working in the lobby of one of the the Twin Towers. It was an experience I will never forget and was the beginning of my life-long love affair with NYC. I would make quarterly sojourns there if I could…hopefully, someday I will!
After that, I spent a couple of years as a TV news reporter in a small market in North Dakota of all places! Southern California girl moves to North Dakota in the middle of winter! My friends and family thought I had lost my mind…I was almost convinced of it myself! But it was a great experience and I met the man I would end up marrying there…so I guess it was a “good thing”. :-) After getting married we spent some time in the Twin Cities (Minneapolis/St. Paul) where I worked as a producer for a daily talk show. A few years later, when I started my family, I adopted the title of “professional Mom” for several years. When my youngest was about 3 years old…I got back into the biz…this time producing a daily talk show in Salt Lake City. I spent 5 fun-filled years producing Good Things Utah at KTVX-TV and was privileged to work with some of the most talented and wonderful people I’ve ever met.
All of this has been great experience (and material) for my latest endeavor….blogger! Hands down the most fulfilling and creatively challenging thing I’ve ever done. I can honestly say, I am enjoying every minute of it. I hope you are too!
Of course, as we all know, into each life a little rain (or a lot) must fall….and approximately 10 years ago my fairly smooth life’s path suddenly turned frighteningly bumpy and the clouds decided to let loose!
I share my “story” not to shine the spotlight on me, but with the hope that if there is someone out there who has or is currently trodding the same path I did…they will know they are not alone.
Some of you may know that I have battled and am currently winning the battle with addiction. I say currently because as an addict I know there is always that possibility I could end up back where I started if I’m not vigilant. So I continue to fight the battle one day at a time…taking great joy in each and every one.
A little background…
It seems like yesterday….it seems like a million years ago…but February 20th, 2008 is the day I celebrated my 46th birthday, and is the day I graduated from a residential treatment program for substance abuse called the Ark of Little Cottonwood. Thanks to the angels there, I am here today. I can’t say enough about the people and the place so I won’t even try except to say that if you or anyone you care about is suffering from the nightmare of addiction, you will not go wrong seeking help from them. They literally and figuratively and every way possible, saved my life.
How I got to the Ark is a long story, one I could write a novel about (maybe someday!), but in a somewhat Reader’s Digest form it goes like this:
About 10 years ago I started going through what I can only describe as a mid-life crisis. I was married with 4 wonderful kids and had everything I thought I ever wanted…and I was miserable. I wanted “more” than the life I had carved out for myself to that point and started looking for new ways to live it. That in and of itself might not have been such a bad thing, but unfortunately the choices I made led me down a dark and perilous path. If there’s one thing I hope to convey to everyone who reads this, it’s that none of us know our propensity to become addicted! It can happen to A N Y O N E!
A little more background…
I started drinking socially at first. Innocent enough huh? Alcohol, the social lubricant. I just wanted to have a little “fun”! And actually there would be a few “good” years before it actually began to turn ugly. But when it did…well, it was UGLY. I actually remember the day when something particularly upsetting happened in my life and for the first time I drank with the sole intention of it numbing the pain. And you know what? It worked!! It worked really, really well! It’s almost impossible to feel pain when all your senses are altered. And it IS impossible to feel pain when you’re passed out. At that point all the pain goes away…..for awhile. Unfortunately, it’s only hiding, waiting, gathering strength for a tremendous comeback. That is how it started. I drank to numb the pain which only multiplied the pain I would feel later. And on and on it went for about a year and a half when my life was finally spinning so out of control that my family sought out the help for me that I couldn’t seem to find for myself. That’s when the miracle of the Ark entered my life. Don’t get me wrong…I did not go waltzing in there willingly (as my family and counselors will attest to), but my life was so far out of control that even in my chemically altered brain I somehow knew I had to do this.
A second chance….
I entered the Ark on December 5th and graduated 72 days later on my birthday. :-) So now I have two birthdays to celebrate on that date. My belly button birthday and my RE-birthday. When I was given a second chance at life. I often say “I should either be dead or in jail”. That is not just for the shock value either. I really should be one of those things. But because of an amazing AMAZING family and my Higher Power that NEVER left me, I have been given that second chance at life.
The present and future….
This website is part of that new life. When I was in the Ark my counselors taught me many important things, but one that was crucial for me was that I needed to find my passion and pursue it! They didn’t just say it was a good idea….they said that for me it was mandatory if I wanted to stay sober. After a few stops and starts, I feel I have finally found that passion I’ve been searching for through this blog. The only thing that could make it better for me is if you find it useful! I hope you do.
So there you go. A bit more about me. Hopefully it will help someone, somewhere to know they are not alone, they are not “the only one”. Believe me, I know how that feels.
Once again, thanks for stopping by. I hope you come back often. And please feel free to share your story with me. While I can’t respond to them all….I read each and every one and draw strength and inspiration from you!