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Happy Mother’s Day! Don’t Forget To CELEBRATE!

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Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms, moms-to-be, moms who have suffered losses, step moms, mother-in laws, birth mothers, adoptive moms, selected moms, single moms, grandmoms, and every other “mom” type out there that I may have forgotten! It’s YOUR day! CELEBRATE IT! That is a bonafide Jillee order! :-)

Oh I know how it is!  Sometimes Mother’s Day can be the absolute WORST day!  It’s all about expectations….and when they aren’t met….disappointment and disaster can ensue.  But not today!  Today….no matter WHAT happens….no matter what goes right or wrong….I hope you will ENJOY and CELEBRATE being a Mom!

I want to tell you a little story.

Last Sunday afternoon I was heading to MY Mom’s house for a get-together. My brother from California was visiting, so we decided to get together for dinner. I was very much looking forward to the afternoon as my boys and I (the hubster was out of town on business) headed towards my parents home which is roughly a half hour drive through a beautiful mountain canyon. We didn’t make it to the canyon however.

Just outside of town…all traffic was being turned away because (we learned later) of a head-on collision car crash that had happened a few hours earlier.  I’m embarrassed to admit…I was more than a little irritated by this turn of events because the only other alternative to get to my Mom’s house meant a 1 1/2 hour detour down another canyon in the opposite direction.  Which now in the light of all that has transpired since that moment is such a minor inconvenience that it really doesn’t even merit mentioning.  But I mention it in my story because it turns out the incident that caused a minor interruption in my Sunday afternoon, also caused the loss of 4 lives…including a Mom, who was also a Grandma, a Dad, who was also a Grandpa, their two year old grandchild and an unborn child in the other vehicle involved. All from my small town.

It’s been a rough week in this community I live in. A week filled with reflection as many people I have spoken with have echoed the same thoughts and feelings I have had about how fragile life is.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to help in a small way with the funeral arrangements for the husband and wife and their granddaughter.  As I drove by the parking lot and saw the 3 white funeral coaches parked side-by-side, it hit me…HARD.  Tomorrow (Mother’s Day) there would be sons and daughters missing their mom…moms missing their children, grandkids missing their grandma, grandmas missing their grandchildren,  brothers and sisters missing their siblings….and on and on.  I could hardly breathe for a moment as I contemplated this.

The sadness and grief threatened to overwhelm me, even though I didn’t personally know the family.  But at the same time…that moment of painful clarity also served a higher purpose.  It reminded me, once again, how fragile the threads that run through our family tapestries are, and how important it is to REALIZE this and make the most of each and every HERE and NOW moment!

Including Mother’s Day!  What better day than today for CELEBRATING the most important people in our lives and the gift of having them in it!?

I hope you will.

I know I will.

xoxo

Jillee

 

My mother is always with me…
She’s the whisper of the leaves
as you walk down the street.
She’s the smell of bleach
in your freshly laundered socks.
She’s the cool hand on your brow
when you’re not well.
Your mother lives inside your laughter.
She’s crystallized in every tear drop.
She’s the place you came from,
your first home…
She’s the map you follow
with every step that you take.
She’s your first love
and your first heart break…
and nothing on earth can separate you.
Not time, Not space…
Not even death…
will ever separate you
from your mother…
You carry her inside of you…
From Shikeya





Jill Nystul Photo

Jill Nystul (aka Jillee)

Jill Nystul is an accomplished writer and author who founded the blog One Good Thing by Jillee in 2011. With over 30 years of experience in homemaking, she has become a trusted resource for contemporary homemakers by offering practical solutions to everyday household challenges.I share creative homemaking and lifestyle solutions that make your life easier and more enjoyable!

About Jillee

Jill Nystul

Jill’s 30 years of homemaking experience, make her the trusted source for practical household solutions.

About Jillee

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  • Thank you for sharing this sad but poignant story. Too often we tend to forget once ” it” happens you can’t go back. I am thankful I came across your blog and decided to poke around and see what was here. It has helped me in many ways…thank you again-Vickie

  • Jill,
    Thank you a million times over for this post. This was my first Mother’s Day without my momma (she passed away last July) so I have been blue and missing her so much. My sweet hubster and kids made sure I had a very wonderful day (weekend actually) but I had the fog of sadness hanging over me that I couldn’t seem to shake. Then I log on today, read your words, and sit here counting my blessings, especially the blessing of having a momma with me for 43 years. So many don’t get that. And that quote from Shikeya?!? Pure wisdom and a balm for my heart. I have printed it out and put it where I can see it everyday. I also sent it to my sisters. All of those families in your community are in my prayers for peace and comfort. Have a fabulous day my blog friend.

  • Thank you for sharing that, Jillee, it was just so heartbreaking and poignant. My heart goes out to that family!
    I just wanted to add, from a very personal perspective, that in our honoring of adoptive mothers on Mother’s Day, I hope everyone can find it within themselves to also honor the spirit of those biological mothers who gave up their children for adoption. So often we have pre-conceived ideas of why this happens and many of those ideas are not favorable to the biological mother other than, “thank God she knew she wasn’t fit to be a mother,” etc, etc. As an adopted person (44 years old) who reunited with my birth mom just two years ago, I can say that especially for those born in my generation, our birth mothers often had no other choice and so many were co-erced by the stigma of the times regarding “out-of-wedlock” pregnancies and the censure of family and society at large. My biological mother suffered for more than 40 years and although we now share a wonderful relationship, she has a very difficult time letting go of those feelings of shame and family betrayal and of being a “bad” person for giving her daughter away. These feelings were even exacerbated when I first reunited with her because she then learned that my adoptive mother had died when I was four and my step mother and I never shared a loving relationship. Regardless – my past and hers has opened the way for a wonderful reunion and ongoing relationship, and while it’s difficult at times (where do you start? what do you acknowledge? how deep do you go?), I am so grateful for her willingness to claim her past and be a part of my life. It’s a beautiful thing and I feel blessed and lucky. I guess I’m writing all this because Mother’s Day is one thing that makes my b-mom squirm. She feels she’s earned no “right” to be called a mother, much less being wished a happy mother’s day…and that makes me extraordinarily sad. So I just wanted to put this out there. Everyone has a story and everyone has feelings and needs. We can be inclusive of those even of whose stories we don’t fully understand, just by putting our hearts in the right place for them. I hope more and more people will do this for those women who experienced the loss of their child through adoption, willingly done or not, and have never been able to appropriately grieve and process that loss. Thanks for the opportunity to speak up.

  • Jillee~ Thank you for sharing this story and I must say it brought tears to my eyes….On Thursday May 3rd I was in my car driving to work just like I do every morning….However this would not be a typical morning for me! I was minding my own business and in a matter of seconds I had a car cut me off, I slammed on my brakes, swerved to miss hitting another car, ended up in the lane next to me that had come to a complete stop! I hit the car in front of me (the lady happened to be pregnant and taken to the hospital – all is well) she hit the car in front of her and so on…..My car then died and ended up back in the lane I started in and all I could think was I am going to die right here! Now this is the part I can not explain and really is not for me to try- it was as if time stood still and somehow my car glided over 2 more lanes of traffic to safety in the emergency lane! After a few deep breathes I realized that I was very lucky! Had it not been for my seatbelt I am sure I would have gone through the windshield…

    Yesterday meant so much to me and I was thrilled to spend it with my hubby, daughter and grandson…I talked with several family members on the phone to include my mom and mother-in-law…Enjoy every day! We just never know when our time will come….

    Happy be-lated Mother’s Day and thanks again for sharing!

  • Happy Mother’s Day, Jillee, I love you dearly, and I am so very proud of you as I watch in awe, the time and effort you expend to help others, by making their lives better in so many different ways, the lives you influence for good, by sharing your own amazing miracle, and most of all the great mother and example you are to your wonderful children. I know your life was saved for tasks such as these, and I am proud to be your Mom. Thanks for being my ever loving daughter.

    • Awww Mommy….you just made my WONDERFUL Mother’s Day…..PERFECT! I am the proud one….proud to call you Mom. Thank you for your always UNCONDITIONAL love. It has made all the difference in the world. Love you Mom!

  • Heart-wrenching and beautiful. Wow…
    Thank you for the always needed reminder.
    I did celebrate today. I thought this day would be just another day of un-met expectations, just like you said, but I allowed myself to just go with what the day brought me. While the day might not have been what I would have wanted, it still ended up being a pretty good day. I got to see my mom (Thank God for that!), my grandma, both of my sisters, and love on all 3 of my babies. Now how could that be a bad day?

  • So tragic! We never know what may happen,so always tell the people you love that you do!

    Here in Sweden, we celebrate Mother´s day next Sunday, but I know that many mothers are lonely even then.

    Many years ago, I lived i Peru, and there EVERY mother got congratulations, flowers or a little present from EVERYONE! The first year my family wasn´t there (and I didn´t know it was Mother´s Day)so I got so surprised!

    I think it is such a nice thought, to celebrate ALL mothers , but of course: do not forget your own!

  • That post brought me to tears and served as a great reminder of how lucky I am.

    A few years back our community suffered a similar tragedy…One of the families where I live lost ALL 3 of their young children in a car crash. The mom, grandma, and three young children were driving home from a fun day together and got stuck in traffic. The semi behind them wasn’t able to stop in time and their lives changed forever. Tragic and horrible. It threw me for a loop.

    Sometimes we sweat the small stuff…thank you for writing this and reminding me that the small stuff is just that…small stuff.

    Off to go kiss my hubby and kiddos xoxo

  • I love you Jill. This post was amazing and so appropriate for today. Grateful for my beautiful mother and all the other amazing women in my life, including my amazing Aunt (that would be you).

  • I am totally speechless . I relate to this .
    I lost my Mama 21 years ago still feels like yesterday.
    The poem author has really hit the the truth.
    Thank You Shikeya for feeling and writing my thoughts.
    Does she have any more soul searches ?

    • I’m so sorry for your loss Mary. While I am not there yet (thank heavens.) I suppose we never get over losing our Mama. HUGS!!

      I’ll see if I can dig up any more gems from Shikeya. :-) I agree…that poem was right on the mark!

  • Life is so momentary, we should live life as though tomorrow might never come. Cross your t’s and dot your i’s. And enjoy the gift everyday brings…especially today…thank you Jillee & HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

  • Just yesterday, as I was making a batch of my homemade laundry detergent, I was thinking I should write you a post to say thank you for helping so many of us save money! Today, after reading this post, I want to say thank you for helping so many of us refocus on what is truly important. You are truly a blessing to more people than you know. May your day – your life – be blessed in return.
    Donna
    anotherbattlewon.blogspot.com

  • Thank you. What a wonderful way to express what I have been feeling for quite awhile. Having seen too much loss already this year, I agree…cherish each day, cherish each memory and make the most of times like today when we can celebrate our mothers. Happy Mother’s Day!

  • Jill,
    What a poignant post for today! Thank-you for the reminder to cherish family and live in the present. BTW, the poem is beautiful beyond words!

    Happy Mother’s Day to You and all the other Mother’s out there too!

  • Truth spoken here…. Thank you for this reminder for today and all the moments that come after today – to cherish all of our NOWS will leave us with no regrets later!

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