A few weeks ago, I stumbled across an article about a topic I had never heard of before: döstädning, a Swedish word meaning “death cleaning.” I ended up reading several different articles to find out what it was all about, and essentially, Swedish death cleaning is the practice of paring down and organizing your belongings before you die.
After my father passed a few years ago, my siblings and I helped our mother go through a lot of his possessions, and deciding what to keep and what to throw out was an emotionally draining process for all of us. One of the advantages of Swedish death cleaning is that it makes that decision process easier for your family after you pass away, so I knew this was something I wanted to do for my own kids’ sake.
Thinking about our own mortality is never fun, but the fact of the matter is that we’re all going to die someday. The practice of Swedish death cleaning can help you feel more prepared for that eventuality, and knowing that your family will have an easier time dealing with your possessions after you go can give you peace of mind as well!
Here are a few basic tips for getting started with Swedish death cleaning.
Swedish Death Cleaning: 11 Helpful Tips for Beginners
1. Ask Yourself the Guiding Question
According to Margareta Magnusson, the author of the book The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, there’s one simple question that should guide you as you sort through your things: “Will anyone be happier if I save this?” It will help keep you on track as you start to make decisions about what is worth keeping and what you could toss out.
2. Don’t Start with Photos
As you start sorting through your possessions and keepsakes, it’s best to steer clear of your photo albums. Photos are a minefield of emotions and memories, and you’re likely to get sidetracked. Stick to less emotional territory at first.
3. Tackle Your Closet
Instead of veering down Memory Lane with photos, start by clearing out your closet. Sort through all of your clothes and set aside anything you don’t wear regularly.
Then when you’re done, bag those clothes up and donate them, if possible. Make sure to repeat this process on a semi-regular basis so unworn clothes don’t pile up again.
4. Consider Re-Gifting
A lot of us have plenty of books, knick-knacks, and other items we don’t necessarily need. Giving those things away can be an easy way to cut back on clutter! For example, giving a cherished book to a friend can make a really meaningful gift, and help you downsize at the same time.
5. Make Memories Manageable
When you’re ready to tackle photos, journals, and other items, find ways to downsize. There are plenty of services that can help you digitize old photos and videos! As far as keeping material keepsakes, try to limit yourself to one box or container.
6. Make It a Party
Another way to quickly downsize on your possessions is to throw a party of sorts! Invite your friends and family over to go through your unwanted stuff to see if there’s anything they’d like to have before you donate or toss it. (This is generally nicer than forcing your unwanted items on uninterested family members.) :-)
7. Involve Others
An important part of Swedish death cleaning is communicating your wishes to your friends or family. It’s a good idea to let at least one person know where you want your treasured items to go. It’s also a good idea to inform someone of your login details for banks and utilities, which can be notoriously hard to find after someone has passed away.
8. Start Early
Margareta Magnusson suggests that 65 is a good time to start death cleaning, but you can start thinking about it earlier than that. If you have any hoarder-type tendencies, you may want to get those in check well before you start the actual death cleaning process.
In any case, it’s a good idea to get started sooner rather than later, because the older you get the less likely you are to do it. It’s demanding work, after all!
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9. Keep at It
Swedish death cleaning should be seen as a process, not a “one and done” purge. You’ll need to continually keep tabs on yourself to make sure you’re not accumulating more stuff as time goes on.
10. Treat Yourself
Death cleaning can be hard, emotional work, so make sure to reward yourself for doing it! Take yourself out to dinner or go get a massage. (Try not to reward yourself with a physical item, since the purpose of Swedish death cleaning is to get rid of unnecessary items.)
11. Keep a Box for Yourself
Some items are going to be important to you, and only you. And that’s okay! Keep those personal items in a box with instructions to toss it out after you’ve passed. This is a good place for things like stuffed animals, travel keepsakes, and other items your children might not want to keep.
Do you have any tips for paring back your possessions later in life?
I am so glad you shared this post! My sweet mother, who passed away in 2010, always used to say, “I am leaving all this for you to take care of.” Sigh…The burden fell upon my sweet son and me to take the emotional bumpy road. I will not have him go through that again! Weeding out as I go.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.I’ve started doing this, but it’s not an easy thing to do – sentiment tends to get in the way!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.This is a brilliant idea! I am having a very difficult time sorting through my mother’s things. She past away this year and loved life, people, family, and her causes. Thank you for showing me the way to start with my mission. I have been struck, mired in grief, and dreading this task. Now, I feel such relief about where to start for her and myself. Thank you!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Thanks! And I will do this.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.My grandmother asked us what we wanted, (her children and grandchildren) then either gave it to us or put our name on it if she wanted to keep it. A daughter in law gave her a decorated tree one Christmas, so grandma gave each of her grandchildren the decorations she had bought through school fund drives back to the one she bought them from. We then could choose from the older stuff. I have many “vintage” Christmas decorations, some with stories.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.I started this at 50 three years ago! I had a couple of people pass and a couple that needed help packing for a move and I was floored by the amount of stuff we accumulate. And I didn’t want my family to go through that when I pass. Its actually been very empowering for me to take charge of everything in my own time :)
Please log in or create a free account to comment.I did this when I retired a few years ago. We moved to another state and downsized in property and house size. I continue to do it especially with clothes. I need to do it again in the spring when I can open the garage and get everything out and donate or give away. Photos I have just kept in photo boxes in bins…..too many, so I have been in the process of going thru 1 box at a time and keeping some photos, but contacting the people in the photos and seeing if they want them….a friend’s wedding from 25 years ago, just my photos not professional ones, of her parents who are no longer alive. I took way too many photos before digital!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.This is a good system too for anyone with hobbies or collections of stuff. Keep what really interests you and sell, donate or give what you have thinned out.
Also leave instructions on that collection, especially if it is worth a lot, on who to contact if you want it sold, curated or whatever.
In a private railcar group we call it “What Your Heirs (pun intended) Need to Know!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Great tip – thanks Pamm!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.This is a brilliant idea!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Legacy Box is a company that will help transfer
old videos into dvd’s. I just did my 1st box.
Less Is More!
Thank you for this great information.
Kathleen
In my folks (I guess deposit box) I think they have instructions for stuff having to do with the house. I’ve told my mom at some point they may need to move to a smaller place without steps if her knees get bad. She also has done a good job of making photo albums for each kid and their family. Some of the stuff like old family history stuff and photos I’d love it if we could digitalize some of that stuff., Pctures of my folks and their families as kids. Also stuff like old pictures of my Grandparents it would just make me sick if we ever lost that type of stuff .
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Thank you for such a gentle approach to a tough subject. I heartily agree with your reminder that it is a process. Like Anne Raymond, I recently moved my mom out of the family farmhouse (and barn!) It was a surprise move and would have been an extended nightmare if I hadn’t spent the past three years since Dad died downsizing all the closets and storage areas. And like Olga, it is never too soon to start. I turned 60 during the move and I don’t think I could have done it at 65. The “Throw Away After I Die” box is sheer genius — will make it so much easier for our loved ones!! Thanks again Jillee! I love your blog and learn so much from you!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.I had to downsize and get rid of so many things that I liked because it didn’t fit in our smaller new home. I try to have this thought when going through things ” you enjoyed it, now move on!” Or, “if I haven’t used it in a year, I won’t miss it”. This helps!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Thank you fora super post! I have been doing this for awhile,d/t the fact my dtr lives on the coast, and I am in the midwest. Easier for her when I am gone. Just want to say I love all your posts!!!!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Thanks for sharing your tips! We had to do this recently for my dad. We first did it before mom passed away and then again when we had dad move closer to us.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.My sister and I do this frequently in our own homes, it feels good to free up space. Decluttered space means decluttered mind to us.
Sorry for the loss of your dad.
Thanks for addressing this topic. My sisters and I spent last winter clearing out the house we grew up in. A house my Mom was in for 58 years. It was a big old house and while she was neat, organized and not a hoarder it was full. Full of some things, like 30 boxes of books in the attic, that my parents had to have known they’d never use again. We finished up determined to turn our attention to our own homes. Sorry to say that only lasted a few weeks but we’ve been saying lately we need to get back to that. I think a system like this could help.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Good luck Anne!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Hello Jillee, I love your blog and look forward to it every day. I have needed to downsize for a while now and for some reason I keep putting it off. I has always seemed just too hard. I’ve worked so hard to get where I’m at, but your right I’m just passing the pain on to my family if I don’t purge. So, with this in mind I am going to be doing this in an ongoing manner. Thanks and keep up the good blog!!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Thank you Kathylynn ☺️
Please log in or create a free account to comment.I really loved this entry. I read all your blogposts, some I keep bookmarked for re-reading and some I just go through once and never again, since not all applies to me and my lifestyle… But this is the first time I actually find that I have something to say.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.I didn’t know you could call it a “Swedish death cleaning” (even though I do live in Sweden! XD ) but I have found in recent years that my life gets easier if I follow these steps. :)
So I have been doing something like it since I turned 28 or so, and I am now 36. I only have things that I love, and try to keep the amount of items I own down to a minimum…
I will next try to apply this to the things I left behind when I moved to Sweden, and recruit some friends to go over my books and movies collection, since I already know I won’t be bringing ALL of it here. They can just as well get it now, instead of waiting until I am dead. :)
Thank you for your awesome ideas, and please keep them coming!