A few weeks ago, I stumbled across an article about a topic I had never heard of before: döstädning (a Swedish word meaning “death cleaning.”) I was immediately interested in learning about what this practice involved, and I ended up reading several different articles to find out what it was all about. Essentially, Swedish death cleaning is the practice of paring down and organizing all of your belongings before you die.
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It felt very timely that I learned about Swedish death cleaning when I did, because my own father passed away early last month. After he passed, my siblings and I helped our mother go through a lot of my dad’s possessions. Deciding what to keep and what to throw out was an emotionally draining process for all of us. But one of the purposes of Swedish death cleaning is to make that decision process easier for your family after you pass away, so I knew this was something I wanted to do for the sake of my own kids.
I know it’s a rather somber topic, but the fact of the matter is that we’re all going to die someday. But the practice of Swedish death cleaning can help you feel more prepared for that eventuality. It can also give you a sense of peace knowing that your family will have an easier time dealing with your possessions after you go. Here are a few basic tips for getting started with Swedish death cleaning.
11 Things To Know About Swedish Death Cleaning
1. The Guiding Question
According to Margareta Magnusson, the author of the book The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning (publication date is Jan. 2, 2018 – pre-order here), there’s one simple question that should guide you as you sort through your things: “Will anyone be happier if I save this?” It will help you stay on track as you start to make decisions on what is worth keeping and what you could toss out.
2. Don’t Start With Photos
As you start sorting through your possessions and keepsakes, it’s best to steer clear of your photo albums. Photos are a minefield of emotions and memories, and you’re likely to get sidetracked. Stick to less emotional territory at first.
3. Tackle Your Closet
Instead of veering down Memory Lane with photos, start by clearing out your closet. Sort through all of your clothes and set aside anything you don’t wear regularly. Then when you’re done, bag those clothes up and donate them, if possible. Make sure to repeat this process on a semi-regular basis so unworn clothes don’t pile up again.
4. Consider Re-Gifting
A lot of us have plenty of books, knick-knacks, and other items we don’t necessarily need. Giving those things away can be an easy way to cut back on clutter! For example, giving a cherished book to a friend can make a really meaningful gift, and help you downsize at the same time.
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5. Make Memories Manageable
When you’re ready to tackle photos, journals, and other items, find ways to downsize. There are plenty of services that can help you digitize old photos and videos! As far as keeping material keepsakes, try to limit yourself to one box or container.
6. Make It A Party
Another way to quickly downsize on your possessions is to throw a party of sorts! Invite your friends and family over to go through your unwanted stuff to see if there’s anything they’d like to have before you donate or toss it. (This is generally nicer than forcing your unwanted items on uninterested family members.) :-)
7. Involve Others
An important part of Swedish death cleaning is communicating your wishes to your friends or family. It’s a good idea to let at least one person know where you want your treasured items to go. It’s also a good idea to inform someone of your login details for banks and utilities, which can be notoriously hard to find after someone has passed away.
8. Start Early
Margareta Magnusson suggests that 65 is a good time to start death cleaning, but you can start thinking about it earlier than that. If you have any hoarder-type tendencies, you may want to get those in check well before you start the actual death cleaning process. In any case, it’s a good idea to get started sooner rather than later, because the older you get the less likely you are to do it. It’s demanding work, after all!
9. Keep At It
Swedish death cleaning should be seen as a process, not a “one and done” purge. You’ll need to continually keep tabs on yourself to make sure you’re not accumulating more stuff as time goes on.
10. Treat Yourself
Death cleaning can be hard, emotional work, so make sure to reward yourself for doing it! Take yourself out to dinner or go get a massage. (Try not to reward yourself with a physical item, since the purpose of Swedish death cleaning is to get rid of unnecessary items.)
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11. Keep A Box For Yourself
Some items are going to be important to you, and only you. And that’s okay! Keep those personal items in a box with instructions to toss it out after you’ve passed. This is a good place for things like stuffed animals, travel keepsakes, and other items your children might not want to keep.
My grandmother would, in the last years she lived in a house, gift her nicer things away as there were weddings, showers, etc.. It was really cool because she could tell you the whole story behind the item. we got to hear fabulous tales of her travels, stories about family friends, old neighbors, and deceased family members, and stories of “back in the day”. She got to relive her whole life, pretty much, in the giving away of her things and we learned so much about who Gramma was before she was Gramma. Things from her home that once seemed… Read more »
How special! ❤️
This is a beautiful, wonderful idea!
The past few months I have been tackling the project of digitizing my old family photos. I started with my own albums, then moved on to my moms and my dads albums are next in line. It is a huge project, but instead of sending them off to a service to be done I have been using my phone. There is a great app – Google’s PhotoScan – that takes a series of “pictures” of your photo and compiles them together for clear, glare free results. Then you can save to your device and automatically back up to Google Photos.… Read more »
Google photos is amazing! I’ve tried Apple, amazon,Picasso, and adobe, too. Google’s is by far the most helpful with the least amount of work, in my opinion. My family photos area little different, however. We have four generations of semi-pro and professional photographers. We were able to get in touch with some print houses to sell a few thousand images. Then we’ll go through the rest to post on shutterstock and similar sites. I also just found out about ebth, a service that can come in, take away the items, and sell them for you in a virtual estate sale.… Read more »
My husband and I retired in early September and immediately left for a month in Finland and Spain where two of our children and grandkids live. While in Finland I also read an article on Swedish Death Cleaning. (Probably the same article as you read.) When we got home in late October my husband started on our sheds and yard. I started on our closets and bookcases. It was great! We’re still working on painting and repairing the house as we plan to sell it sometime next year, but the “death cleaning” is pretty much done… at least for now.… Read more »
We just moved downsized to a smaller home Even though we donated a lot of stuff and got rid of a lot of junk I still have too many clothes that should be gone I had to order new tops because my clothes look well worn it is hard though It’s a work in process And I hope I get to the pppint my closet looks really nice not cluttered etc As far as things it’s hard also giftsvyou were given I want to donate eactime I start someone in my family says oh no but I have no room… Read more »
My grandmother lived to be 100, but for the last 30 years of her life, she kept a pile of small slips of paper, old business cards from my grandfather, and a roll of tape handy. Any time one of the children, grandchildren, or great-grandchildren mentioned one of her possessions, she asked them if they would like to have it when she died. It was a matter of labeling those items with the intended recipient’s name for a later date. I knew for over 25 years that the piano would one day be mine! As she downsized (which she did… Read more »
This is a wonderful story- so inspirational as well as practical, saves all those hassles and unpleasant arguments about who should have got what. Thanks for sharing!
What a great idea!
before my mother passed, she did the same thing except she put the recipient’s name on the back (inside) of the item as well as stipulating it in her living will. It made her passing a little bit easier on all of my siblings and myself as well. No one wants to lose a loved one, but time passes and someday our time will come too………….
That is one of the best ways I’ve heard of to do that! That way there’s a lot less arguing over who gets what she you know the person is going to truly cherish what you give them!
My condolences to you and your family.
Thank you Debbie ❤️
My condolences.
Thank you for writing this!
My deepest sympathy to you and your
Family at this difficult time.
Ellen Keeler
P.S. Thank you so much for your post
on Swedish Death Cleaning.
Probably was not an easy subject
for you to tackle right now.
I’ve been working on this for a while now (also updating wills etc, and this project seems to go better intertwined with the purging). It is amazing how much better I feel when a decision has been made to “let go” of something that no one else will treasure (or need). I come from a family (both maternal and paternal sides) that has always kept everything — either “we might really need it sometime” (great depression era thinking) or “it will always be a treasure for descendants”. Truth is, after about the 3rd or 4th generation the descendants never knew… Read more »
This has been in the front of my mind for many years. I just did not have a name for it. After going through the death of my Dad, Mother and Father-in-law. And down sizing my M-I-L and us down sizing a house. I am OVER it all. I have three kids and asked them if there was somthing special they wanted and I would keep it. Other wize there is nothing that has a hold on things. We have a son who has autism and he really wants for nothing. A daughter who is far more of a collector… Read more »
After helping my friends deal with the “collectors ” in their lives, I too looked round to find a HUGE pile of stuff that I didn’t need or love anymore! Hey, tastes change! I have been trimming for the last year. Less to dust. and whats out, I love. Thank You Jillee for all of your wonderful posts!