Today is my birthday. I don’t tell you this lightly. As a matter of fact, last year I didn’t even mention it because last year I turned the big FIVE-O. I’m embarrassed to admit it now, but I was so devastated and in such denial over that silly number that I refused to acknowledge it in any public way. But now that I’ve had a year to let the reality settle in, I see I did myself a disservice by allowing such a significant life milestone pass by without paying some sort of homage to it.
So here I am, a year later, ready to do what I should have done last year…reflect on turning fifty (plus 1) by sharing some of what that considerable span of time has taught me.
I share this as a birthday present to myself today….but my hope is that each of you will find at least one nugget of truth that resonates with you and causes you to reflect as well.
51 Reflections On Turning 50 + 1
I’ll start with one of my very favorite quotes:
1. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~~Eleanor Roosevelt
2. Time and experience heals pain. Even if you are going through an overwhelmingly painful event in your life right now….one day it will be part of your past and not nearly as significant as it seems.
3. Keep moving. We must keep putting one foot in front of the other even when we hurt. If we don’t, we will never know what is waiting for us just around the bend.
4. Be the first to say you’re sorry.
5. Kindness matters. A lot. Being kind is more important than being right. Wherever there is a human being, there’s an opportunity for kindness.
6. Mother was right….everything seems worse at night. Our isolation and insignificance seem so much greater when everyone else is asleep. Try to rest and take comfort in the approaching sunrise.
7. Find ways of doing service. It’s some of the most rewarding experiences you will ever have. You come to love those you serve.
8. For better, or for worse….means just that. Probably the five words most taken for granted in the English language.
9. Forgiving yourself is FAR harder than forgiving someone else. And, I believe, it’s never complete.
10. When the chips are down (I mean REALLY down)…family is who will come through.
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11. Our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
12. Comparison is the thief of joy. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
13. “Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.” ~~Eleanor Roosevelt
14. Stop worrying…and start living! 99% of what we worry about WON’T EVER HAPPEN!
15. Choose happiness. Walk cheerfully on the face of the earth.
16. Let go of resentment. Holding a grudge is letting someone live rent-free in your head. KICK THEM OUT!
17. You don’t need everyone to like you. If the people closest to you love you, the ones who don’t, don’t matter.
18. Addiction is no respecter of persons. It will seek to destroy anyone who gets caught in its web.
19. Life is all about expectations. Stop expecting impossible perfection, in yourself and others.
20. NO ONE gets through this life without some trial. Everyone is fighting a battle of some kind.
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21. Goal-setting is overrated. Problem solving is underrated.
22. Debt ruins lives. Try to avoid it all cost.
23. Never send an email when you’re mad. If you want to write an angry e-mail, do it. Just don’t send it.
24. You can’t change people. You either have to accept people for who they are or not at all. There is very little gray area here.
25. Learn to embrace Change, even when it arrives with its companions, Fear and Uncertainty.
26. Giving is better than getting. If you continually give, you will continually have.
27. Gratitude is the best way to find contentment. Personally I don’t think there is any way to find contentment without gratitude. It takes our focus off what we don’t have and onto what we do have.
28. Learn the art of empathy and practice it. Never underestimate the power of a smile, a kind word, or a listening ear.
29. On being a parent….stay out of the way of your kids becoming the amazing people they are. It’s more harmful to overparent than to underparent.
30. Everyone yearns for validation, love, security, enjoyment and a better future.
31. Live in the now. Don’t let yesterday use up today.
32. Live by example. Personal example carries much more weight than preaching.
33. You can’t buy happiness. Everything that is wonderful about life doesn’t cost a penny. A long walk, a hug, spending time with a good friend are all free.
34. You can’t please everyone! If you share something with enough people, you will upset someone, no matter what. That’s their problem, not yours.
35. Mistakes are how we learn. Failures are the stepping stones to success.
36. Wear sunscreen.
37. No matter how lonely you might feel, there is always someone who can relate to you. Perhaps you can’t talk to them right now, but they are out there.
38. Flowers and gardening are medicine for the soul.
39. Passionate love is overrated. Seek a mate whose values and background echo your own.
40. Relationships are messy because life is challenging. A conflict doesn’t mean the relationship has to come to an end.
41. No one is in charge of your happiness except you. Not your parents, not your spouse. You.
42. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will. Stay close.
43. However bad a situation is, you will get through it, one way or another.
44. Trust your gut instinct. It will be right 99% of the time.
45. Sometimes all you can do is B R E A T H E.
46. Failures are only lessons. So never regret anything that has happened in your life. Take it all as lessons learned and move on with grace.
47. The best is yet to come.
48. Experience is the greatest teacher of all.
49. This wise prayer….”God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
50. Find your passion. Discovering something you love to do has an amazing effect on your entire life.
51. I have a lot left to learn. Life still has many lessons left to teach me, and I’m looking forward to them all.
I want to thank each of you for being here to celebrate with me today….and every day! The community that this website represents truly is one of my proudest accomplishments, and one that wouldn’t exist without all of you incredible people!
Do you have a saying that resonates with you?
Happy Birthday Jillee! Enjoy your day & blessings on your year!
I don’t think I’ve commented here before, but I’ve been a follower for a while and love all your helpful hints.
I feel your pain. I turned 54 this past Saturday. We are just another day older. Personally I’m in denial and still think I’m 23 until I look in the mirror. (rolling eyes)
Lot’s of Love on your special day!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Jillee you are awesome, I too turned 51 this year I am completely ok with the age thing. I don’t feel like I am in my fifties (what is it supposed to feel like lol) but when I look at my kids and grandkids I know I am there. Happy Birthday beautiful lady, I love your blog and your list is just what I would have said if I knew how to put my thoughts into words.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Thank you!
It’s clear both from your post and from the many comments here that mid-life is not a time for crisis but a time for coming to appreciate how we’ve gotten here and where we’re going. At 52, I feel like the idea of mid-life crisis has completely turned on its head and my mid-life is a period of happy reassessment of the rich joys I’ve been privileged to experience thus far, and the brilliant possibilities in my future. I can see that you’re headed forward on a similar path. Kudos to you, and many, many blessings as you fly on upward! Happy birthday.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Kathryn
Happy Birthday, Jillee! All you folks are just babies! I turned 50 + 11 in January! HA! I love your blog, refer friends to it all the time. Thank you for sharing all that you do. Remember, life is a journey and no matter what number our birth certificates say we are, it is our choice or not as to whether we embrace the journey and enjoy all the marvelous (sometimes painful) views. Have a wonderful birthday today!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Happy Birthday! I cried when I turned 50. I was working the late shift and felt all alone. Well I just turned 60 last November and I can say I enjoyed every moment of it. I shared it with my son and daughter and my BFF. Life is too short to waste. Live life to the fullest.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.I so related to this post!! The entire before I turned 50 I made myself miserable with a million issues with the whole idea of turning 50. It was huge to me, in such a negative way. Then the day came ….. and went ….. and I realized it was ….. JUST A DAY. And I was the same me. It wasn’t at all huge, and really was just a number. I learned alot from that experience, and now at 53, I appreciate the wisdom and overall peace that comes with living this long, and how we are all a continual work in progress. I liked #5 the best: “Kindness matters”. That’s huge to me. One of my favorites, a quote I have hanging above my desk, is similar: “Be kind. You never know what sorrows or struggles someone is hiding behind a brave smile”.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Happy Birthday Jillee! Love reading your posts so much. Keep it up. Have a beautifu; day!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.I also turn 51 in 8 days! thanx for all the positive thoughts and here’s to a fresh new year, CHEERS to you and I and all the others having birthdays!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Happy Birthday!!!! It’s just a number. I turned 60 last September. I love it.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Happy birthday!! I really enjoyed all of your beautiful comments. :)
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Happy birthday, Jillee! And many more! Thanks so much for your blog. It must take a lot of work to put it together each day. Have a great birthday! God bless!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Happy birthday!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Gosh. My brother and I just turned twenty in November and it felt…almost scary. Like whoa, we are adults now, and that is overwhelming. So, thank you for this. Seriously, I am so happy to have found your blog. You are the best kind of person.
Happy Birthday Jillee! I am enjoying my 50’s! I am in the midst of parenting 2 teen boys and Blessed to be married to my best friend for almost 34 of my 53 years. LOVE LOVE your daily emails! I learn so much, get encouraged and love your humor . May your Year be covered in GODS Blessings!!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Happy Birthday! Thank you for sharing. May God bless you always.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Right on, Jillie, from another 51 year old. You deserve to celebrate, and your life lessons are great reminders. Have a wonderful birthday and never forget that it is better than the alternative.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Have a blessed and wonderful birthday, Jillee!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Happy Birthday! I am just a couple weeks away from my 50 (+1) birthday and loved reading your wisdom. The best part of being how old I am is being who I am because of it! May the upcoming years give you blessings beyond belief. xom
Please log in or create a free account to comment.HAPPY BIRTHDAY JILLEE! Thanks so much for the 51 reflections – all so very true. I love your website/e-mails – keep up the wonderful work. Look up, shine on and enJOY your special day!!! Many blessings to you in the coming year!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.This has got to be the best thing I have read recently. If more people felt this way and lived it, the world would be a much kinder place. Happy 50th Birthday, make it the best year ever!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Thank you so much for this!
I shared it with all my friends!
Even tho none of us are close to 50!
At any age this list is sound advice.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.at 55 I find the most interesting thing about this age is :how quickly I arrived
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Also I find it amusing to look back to when I was my kids age (25 and 28) and remember what I thought a 55 year old was …OLD. Now I know differently and find myself suffering their same old people jokes I used to make….what goes around comes around …I guess it’s all part of the game.
Happy Birthday Jilee!! Im 51 also so I kinda get it.. its kind of shocking, isnt it.. You dont FEEL those numbers.. so dont sweat it.. I’ve always said, Im not getting older, Im getting wiser.. and thats my story & Im sticking to it. ;)
Looking forward to sharing these wonderful reflections with others who I know will love them.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Lots of blessings & many many more wonderful Jillee years.
Thank you so much for sharing your birthday with us. I loved what you shared. I am going to print them out. I need positive thoughts in my life and this is food for the soul. Happy Birthday! I’m so blessed to have found your website.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Happy Birthday! (from someone who passed your milestone several years ago)
I love your blog and look forward to each email. Thank you so much for sharing your tips, dreams, tidbits and life.
Enjoy your day!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Happy Birthday lady! Thank you so much for sharing your words of wisdom with us! They ‘speak’ to me, in a deep sort of way. I’m 49 and have been tussling with the fact that I am going to be 50… I think I should feel some sort of way or be grown up or something! Life… it’s crazy, wacky and wonderful!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Thanks again!!